I don’t know that anyone ever really owns anything.

That’s probably a weird thing to think when we’re getting ready to go sign papers in a lawyer’s office that say that we legally “own” this piece of property.

It will give us the right to mow….and pay the taxes.

It will give us the right to drill a well…and build…repair…explore.

I guess that we’ll own this chunk of land after this afternoon comes and goes.

That’s pretty amazing.

“Owning”….what a concept.

I guess that it will be good to have that piece of paper when the Indians come to set up their tipis.

Owning is the white man’s way….I’ll need something concrete to show them that will help shoo them away….like a piece of white man’s paper.

I guess that what I’m thinking….before I have my first sip of coffee at 5:25….is that this is the time to put the pedal to the metal….drag the cart before the horse….make him drink.

This is the moment when legends are made.

Of course, I may calm down and change my mind about the drama after I get some coffee in me.

I may decide that it’s only the time to change the string in the weedeater.

Maybe it doesn’t have to be so dramatic?

After a long time….maybe a couple of months (?)….maybe a bunch of months….we’re going to sign the papers this morning…hand over a big check….and own this piece of property.

This dream goes from an abstract “what I might do IF…” to “what do I do now?”

(I know what to do…I don’t want to scare Jenny. I need to stand up on my hind legs and BE A MAN!! That’s what I need to do…be a man….with a hammer in his hand. EASY. )

I watch the home shows and I see these young couples say, “It does need a lot of work….hmmmmmm” and then I see them stripping some wallpaper or painting the kitchen….and then I remember that I need to rewire and plumb….sheetrock….rebuild a porch….drill a well….put in a septic system.

Those guys are a bunch of freaking whiners.

I’ll show you some crazy work, you whiners!

Ah….coffee.

What was I saying?

I guess I shouldn’t write out everything that needs to be done. Writing it all out and filling up some paper with every task I need to do is kind of daunting.

One day at a time….one day at a time.

“Commit”….and then celebrate the 20 year anniversary somewhere a little ways down the line.

Don’t build the whole house the day you sign the papers….that’s crazy.

I need to just get into that overgrown homestead and distract myself for about week with a roaring chainsaw.

I need to cut down some little trees.

That should be a welcome distraction for  a little while.

This is really happening, isn’t it?

I need to start running again….but running towards….not “away”.

“Closing Time” Tom Waits