We have a really cheap package with Dish Network.

If you called the customer service rep to ask them about it, they couldn’t find it listed on their website.

Nobody knows about it.

It’s a secret.

But….it does exist. I know….because it’s on in the other room right now.

One thing that makes it cheap is that we don’t have a whole bunch of channels.

It’s limited.

It’s limited and cheap.

One of the channels they do give us is HGTV.

We watch the heck out of that channel.

It’s all a bunch of people buying….or fixing….or trying to fix so that they can get rid of….houses.

That’s bizarre how much it holds our attention.

We’re (I’m) like moths getting ready to fly into the candle flame….we can’t turn away.

Now, we have this new property to tear into.

Rip it up, boyeeeeeeee.

There is this one show called “Renovation Realities” that I really like to watch.

It’s all about these incompetent people who bite off more than they can chew and who think that they can complete a kitchen renovation for 500 dollars in the three days of vacation they allotted for the job.

I love that show when I get a chance to see it.

I guess that I identify with semi-competence.

It’s easier, too, to watch the train wreck when it’s someone else’s house that’s getting torn up.

It’s more entertaining when the dust is in someone else’s eyes for a change.

Any electrical work that goes on in that show is pretty entertaining.

I love the part where they look at each other and say, “Just cut it….just cut it. What’s the worst that could happen?” and then things start sparking and the people are dancing around like monkeys in the rubble.

That’s my favorite.

I don’t think that it should be that entertaining for me to watch all these problems that other people have.

I’m kind of like a unsanctioned ambulance chaser….a minor thrill seeker who knows what’s coming and can’t wait to see the carnage.

Any house is a big puzzle. It’s a big box full of pieces that fit together in a logical way and can be moved or taken away if you know what you’re doing.

The real mystery is a house that’s like the box that has two jigsaw puzzles in it (that’s why Jenny counts the pieces before she buys a used puzzle for the kids).

When someone has added things in a way that doesn’t make sense….or you deal with a lifetime of home improvements and “work-arounds”….sometimes it’s like trying to figure out why it’s so hard to put two different puzzles together at the same time.

It’s hard to turn two into one.

Especially when you didn’t count the pieces.

So, anyway….I watch these shows and marvel at the successes and failures that someone else is having with their home project.

And when Monday rolls back around, I gather at the water cooler with the other dudes and say, “Did you see how they took down that popcorn ceiling?!! 15 minutes into the second half?!! I didn’t think they’d be able to pull that one off!!”

Just kidding. That never happens. The dudes don’t pay attention to the sport of renovation.

I do, though….I do.

“Working on a Building” Cowboy Junkies