I can’t dial it back.

When confronted with a perceived lack of real value, my inner cheapskate comes roaring up to the front of my brain and I start to complain.

It spoils things.

It spoils a lot of things.

We went on vacation last week….up to Canada….then to Maine….then back home.

It was a giant route.

Have you ever heard of something called a “lobster roll”?

I have.

Now I know what it might be.

I say “might be” because, even though the place we got ours is supposed to be the “best around”, it might have been some elaborate New Englander joke they were playing on the tourists.

I hope that it was a joke.

We asked the kid at the desk at the hotel, the kid with the tattoo that said, “it was all a dream”, where a good place to get a lobster roll was, and he told us about this place called the “Lobster Shack”.

When we got there, the parking was kind of crowded….and when I found a place to park this dude screamed at me…..called me the “F word”….then tore out of the gravel lot.

He didn’t like where I was parking.

Welcome to the Lobster Shack.

There were a lot of people in line…..and when we got close enough that we could read the menu board, it said “Lobster Roll…..market price”.

That wasn’t a good sign.

What’s market price?

The smaller sign inside said, “Lobster Roll…..18.95”

Man.

My heart sunk.

That’s a lot of money for something that I don’t even know what it is.

But, hey!! WE WERE ON VACATION!!!

Right?!

We ordered our food and went and sat down on one of the picnic benches that were down by the water.

Right by the rocky coast of Maine!!

Man! It was beautiful! It was probably one of the most beautiful places for a restaurant I have ever seen.

Then they called our number….and my reaction to my lobster roll spoiled the view for me.

A LOBSTER ROLL IS A HOT DOG BUN WITH A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT TASTED LIKE RAW COLD LOBSTER WITH ABOUT HALF AN INCH OF MAYONNAISE ON TOP….A LITTLE PAPRIKA….A PICKLE CHIP…..AND A HANDFUL OF FRENCH FRIES.

WHAT THE FREAKING HECK IS THIS?!!

WHERE’S MY 18.95 MAINE MEAL?

DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A FOOL?

Anyway….long story short….I’ve had a lobster roll now.

But the thing about it is…..I’ve got to figure out, even though everybody was looking at this expensive meal in amazement, how to dial back my knee-jerk reaction to an overpriced lobster hot dog.

Sometimes it’s a kindness to just say “YUMMMMMMM” …..even though I don’t really like mayonnaise all that much.

Sometimes it’s better to just roll with whatever they stick in the hot dog bun…..and get over it fast if they charge you an arm and a leg to sit by the ocean in a different version of paradise…..and just enjoy your life enough that you don’t keep someone else from enjoying their life.

Even if you’re eating something that looks like a giant bug.

A giant bug on a hot dog bun.

A little piece of a giant bug on a tiny hot dog bun.

With mayonnaise.

FOR $18.95!!!  18.95?!!!!!! $18.95!!!!