I need a dog.

How hard could it be to get a dog?

Probably not all that hard….there must be a lot of dogs out there who need a place to lay down.

But….then you get into the idea that a dog needs a place to lie down….and what kind of place will that be?

He or she isn’t going to stay inside the house….probably.

This needs to be an outside dog.

So I need to build a house that’s snug and warm….and then I need to build one like it for the dog, too.

I can talk myself out of anything.

But….I need a dog.

I need a dog who won’t eat our cat…..

I need.

I need to go meet a bunch of dogs….and then choose which ones I’m going to reject….choose which ones I’m going to leave behind….choose who gets to watch me as Rufus and I saunter out of the dog jail….leaving them all to wonder if maybe something good might happen to me someday.

All of our other dogs….with the exception of Dr. Brown, who we picked out of a shopping cart full of puppies in front of the Wal-Mart in town…..have chosen us.

There was Buddy….the border collie who wandered into our lives for a time….and then walked over the mountain in a snowstorm and took up with a different family on the other side of the hill.

There was Cogsworth, who lived in a box at the flea market until we took her home. Cogsworth disappeared after we got her spayed.

Then….Bigdog.

Ah, Bigdog.

The prince dog….the king of dogs.

Bigdog lived down the road…but when he fell in love with our kids….wandering down to spend time with us when he was just a little kid himself….the people who lived in the trailer where he spent some of his time said we could just have him since he was spending all his time over here anyway.

Bigdog ! Border Collie….chow? spitz? what else?….was such a good dog that it makes it hard to take a chance on anyone else.

How do you match that?

Maybe you go into it knowing that you don’t ever “match it”.

Maybe you go into it knowing that whoever comes into your life is going to be pretty darn great….even if it’s in a different way than the greatness you knew before?

You can’t compartmentalize love….everything’s different every day…it all spreads out in a messy tangle….a beautiful and goofy patchwork….it all changes every moment.

Who knows.

I know that I over-think things. Getting a dog shouldn’t be so hard.

Maybe the truth is that I “over-worry” things.

Sometimes, I know that I don’t really think things through….but I’m pretty sure that I’m good at the constant “over-worry” part

These dogs around here don’t run as free as when the road was still gravel.

My chances of having someone pick me and my family have decreased since they put down the blacktop.

I’m going to have to get proactive.

I’m going to have to get out there and do some dog hunting.

I’m going to have to hunt me up a dog this time.

Danged blacktop…..making me work.

“i love my dog” Cat Stevens