phantom skunk


There’s no skunk on our porch.

It smells like it….but there’s no skunk.

The weather’s getting nice enough that we can have some windows open again….let the fresh air in.

The fresh air is full of temporary skunk juice….skunk excretions….so it smelled like there was a skunk out there.

I’ll smell every freaking corner of that laundry room/porch….and I don’t think that I’ll smell a whiff of skunk squirt.

That’s how optimistic and confident I am.

I am a hopeful kind of guy.

Jenny woke me up this morning and told me that I’d let a skunk onto our porch before I went to sleep last night.

She told me that the cat got sprayed.

I smelled that cat…..and that cat doesn’t stink any more than it usually does.

I think that skunk sprayed out in the yard.

I hope that I’m right.

( I’m not really all that confident. I know for a rock solid fact that the cat doesn’t stink….I smelled her all over and didn’t smell anything. But….if there’s some stinky, skunky corner of that laundry room….if it smells like a skunk….well….that would be bad after I came off all cocksure. That would be hard to recover from….)

So….like I said a couple of sentences ago….I think that skunk sprayed out in the yard.


Pungent…..whewwwwwwwwwww. But…..pungent out in the yard.

Not pungent where we work to make our clothes smell “spring fresh”.

Nothing like that.

I think.

I’ll have to go down there and sniff around in detail just to make sure that nothing stinks before everyone gets up…..just to make sure that I’m right.

(What if that skunk really is down there….and while I’m down there sniffing, I check behind the washer and get a generous squirt right in the face?!!!  Man….that would stink. That would be bad for me.

Maybe I’ll let Nate check for the skunk. )

Kidding…..that would be extremely bad parenting.

I’ll do it myself.

I hope that I’m right about the skunk not being down there.

“skunk walk” The Sugarman 3


About Peter Rorvig

I'm a non-practicing artist, a mailman, a husband, a father...not listed in order of importance. I believe that things can always get better....and that things are usually better than we think.

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