I’ve read that you should write about what you know.
I know that I’m missing things.
Like any parent….I’m missing things.
So….I write about “missing things” sometimes.
While I was troubleshooting the computer yesterday, when I got home from running the mail route, trying to get our beloved internet back on line and working, my six-year-old brought something to the desk I was working at.
“I made this for you”.
I couldn’t tell what it was. It was backwards.
“That’s nice, Nate…what is it?”
“It says, ‘I love you’.”
This morning, it’s sitting on my desk still….turned right and clear as day…”I love you” in Legos.
That deserved more than casual recognition and distracted appreciation.
My excuse might be that I’m really tired…or that I’m trying to hold it all together….figure out where a little can go to cover a lot.
My excuse might be that I worry for no reason…that I obsess over things that, without any action behind the worry, are nothing more than worry generators.
There’s a big difference between an “action prompter” and a “worry generator”.
My excuse might be that I have the attention span of a small bug.
I might not have a good excuse.
Having a good excuse is not something that covers missing the important things in life.
But you can’t go around apologizing all the time, either.
“So some kid made something for me yesterday? Well….SO WHAT?!! I’VE GOT MY OWN LIFE TO LIVE….DANGIT. BEING A PARENT DOESN’T MEAN THAT I HAVE TO SACRIFICE ‘ME’, DOES IT?!! I’VE GOT A LIFE, TOO!! GO SHOW SOMEBODY ELSE THAT LEGO THING. NOW….RUN ALONG….DADDY’S BUSY WITH THESE GROWN-UP THINGS….”
That’s not funny…it’s horrible.
I don’t identify with that long capitalized statement at all.
That’s not one of my beliefs…no matter how tired I am.
One thing that I do believe is this:
There is a short and natural span of wonder that can be prolonged into a lifetime of wonder.
“Wonder” comes easy for a child….I think that it’s in their DNA or something…but it’s something that we can lose as we “become adults”.
“Adults”…..the wonder killers.
Maybe that’s what the real purpose is for me….here.
I’m not really all that good at it….maybe.
Maybe I am sometimes…I don’t really know.
But….here is what I’m thinking….at 5:28 on a Sunday morning….everyone else still asleep….me, sitting out here in the dark at a messy desk, typing…typing….typing:
Maybe what I’m here for is to turn myself from a worry generator into a wonder generator?
How do you do that, though?
Maybe I just need to wake up….and recognize “I love you” in Legos everytime something like that comes along?
Just wake up.