OK….check this out.

When you borrow a big chunk of money from the bank, they charge you money to borrow the money.

That makes sense.

What’s in it for them, otherwise?

There’s got to be an angle, right?

But….here’s the amazing part.

THEY CHARGE YOU MORE MONEY JUST SO THEY CAN SET THINGS UP SO THAT YOU CAN PAY THEM A BUNCH OF MONEY SO THAT YOU CAN GET THE MONEY!!

I’m only kidding, of course.

Not about them charging a bunch of money to charge a bunch of money.

That part is real….no fooling.

I’m kidding about being such a rube that it caught me off-guard when I needed more money to complete.

I’m not a RUBE…it’s just a part that I play sometimes when I’m fooling around.

I know about closing costs.

I’ve heard all about that.

If I still had any money, I’d find some good folks who needed it and get a lawyer to help me figure out how to loan it to them and charge them money to get it from me…..and still have some kind of assurance that I’d get it back.

It’s the “assurance” part that’s hard to figure out.

That’s my new “money-making scheme”.

I think that I could really clean up if I had a bunch of money to spread around….for a fee.

Forget working, man, I just need a bunch of money that I could give people in exchange for more money.

Awwww, what the heck. Money is boring, anyway.

You should see the size of the hickory tree that is next to the driveway on this new property.

It’s freaking huge.

That’s a lot more interesting than money.

But money…all these numbers, this pile of filthy lucre….what are we all so conscious of it for?

I waited at the library to sign the papers to borrow the money to buy this place….and while I was there, I went to look at the books about money.

There was a whole shelf full of books about money.

I live in a town where a lot of the people who live here have a lot of money.

Mucho dinero….big time.

It looks like a lot of what they think about is how to keep all the money that they have.

Some of the books were about making a lot of money….I’m going to have to check a couple of them out….I’d like to make a bunch of money….but most of them were about how to tighten your grasp and keep what you have.

“Keep what you have”…and make it grow bigger and bigger and bigger.

Make that pile o’ money MO HUGEAH!! MO BETTAH!!!

High finance….and there’s not a bit of it that comes with me when I go.

Better to have a grassy field to run through than a bunch of numbers on a balance sheet to look at.

I’d rather the sun hit my cheek than another buck hit my bank account.

Nah…that’s BS. I’d rather sit in a darkened room, my thin skin growing more and more yellow under the fluorescent light, wearing one of those little green hats that people who count money wear….I’d rather sit and stare at the paper and count my blessings as the numbers slowly and steadily ACCRUE …something.

Nah….I’ll take the sun. I can remember the sun….I can’t remember all those numbers.

“Money Changes Everything” Cyndi Lauper