more normal than not

When we made the transition from “buyer” to “owner“, the previous owners turned the power off at the property we just bought.

That makes all the sense in the world.

I wouldn’t want to pay someone else’s power bill….although it would be a perk if a property we bought came with free electricity for life.

I could really save some money if more things were free.

When I told the guys at work that the power was off now at the new place, one of my co-workers was kind of pessimistic about my chances of getting the juice turned back on.

“YOU’RE SCREWED!! YOU’RE SCREWED!! THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED TO US!! NOW YOU’LL HAVE TO GET ALL SORTS OF INSPECTIONS AND THAT OLD HOUSE WILL NEVER PASS!! YOU ARE SCREWED!!”

It wasn’t painting a very hopeful scenario.

So I called Duke Energy….and when the lady couldn’t find the property in her records, she said that I must be a Progress Duke Energy customer.

When I called Progress Duke Energy, she said that I would be a Duke Energy customer.

So I called Duke Energy again….listened to the menu, pressed what I hoped were the right buttons, and waited.

When the lady came on the line, she listened to what I needed to do, and then tried to look up the new house….and she couldn’t find it.

Finally, she found it under the names of the previous owners.

It turns out that the power company considers the address to be a different one than the address on the survey.

Weird.

So, she gave me power at the address they had on file….and when I went out to the house and flicked the switch….the light came on.

I am so glad that I wasn’t SCREWED.

That would be bad.

It’s been hot here the last couple of days….a late Summer heat wave.

And….the last couple of days have had a little bit of rain.

It’s funny how I let the rain shut the process down for a while.

I must be a little lazy…looking for excuses to lay low and not make myself more tired.

“Rain” works better for that than “wind”.

Nobody would believe that I needed to wait out the wind before I started working outside again.

Just a little bit of rain, too….just enough to moisten everything that I need to chainsaw.

That shouldn’t stop me.

It must be laziness and not the rain.

I am glad that the power situation was easy to take care of.

Conversations like the one I had at work kind of scare me a little….make me think that something’s impossible before I even tried to get it done.

There’s really not a lot that’s “impossible”…especially the “little things”….like getting some electricity.

How old am I going to be before I really take that to heart?

 

I can hear the sounds of outside from where I sit in the morning to write this blog.

Maybe some cicadas….maybe some peepers….the funky cry of an opossum (?….maybe a raccoon?) ….the rooster….

It sounds like it’s going to make the transition into Fall soon.

It just feels different….like something is going to change.

I used to run in the morning when it was dark and all these sounds surrounded me.

I haven’t run in a while.

It’s easier to quit a good habit than it is to get started again.

And it’s really easy to start again, really.

So….it must be really easy to quit something good.

I don’t have any problem forming a habit of not working at something that takes a little effort.

Easy as pie.

Yesterday, my Jeep passed its yearly inspection….which is probably another story….not a really interesting story….but another one.

It surprised me that it passed.

That makes it a whole lot easier to get it licensed when it passes the inspection.

So….that was my “miracle of the week” ….to go from having the check engine light on….knowing what code it was throwing….expecting it to fail….turning off the light and erasing the codes with my code checker….and then having it pass.

That’s a minor miracle.

Which doesn’t excuse me from knowing that I want to get back out and start running again in the morning.

It’s good to hear those morning sounds before the rest of the people on my road wake up and start driving around.

Quiet….not silent….just quiet.

That’s the kind of environment for me.

I need some peace….all the time.

I listened to an interview with a journalist named Bob Timberg yesterday.

He stepped on a landmine when he was preparing to end his tour of duty in Vietnam…..and was badly damaged by the explosion.

He’s written a book called “Blue Eyed Boy” about his experience and how he survived that horrible experience….and moved beyond to continue his life.

I can’t imagine what he went through.

He talked a little about John McCain….and when he asked him how he could get over his imprisonment as a POW.

I’m quoting from memory….but John McCain said (something like), “I spent time in the military academy, and didn’t like it….I spent 5 1/2 years as a prisoner and didn’t like it. That was enough time spent on that….”

I mangled that quote….but that was the thought, anyway….

I don’t know how to leave things completely behind….but what a lot of wasted time trying to figure out things that have long passed….and none of it was horrific or really hard.

That has nothing to do with running.

What the heck? What am I thinking? I need to drink more coffee.

Maybe what I’m thinking is that we all have the opportunity to take care of what little things we can manage to make our lives better.

I can clean the kitchen….pick up my clothes…change the oil in the jeep….help give the little guys a bath….a million other things.

I can start running again….

Simple.

These little details are going to make or break me.

“Runnin’ Away” Sly and the Family Stone

It must be a sign of the new apocalypse when I get set to start writing another morning’s worth of blog and I realize that I have no new spam from a French pornographer in my comments…..no offers to buy cheap rolexes….no comments like “you have much information that helps me in making better my life! Thankyou for writing with such indepth knowledge!!” (sic)

There wasn’t a single bit of spam this morning.

Now, it could be that all the spammers were raptured and I was left behind to write this blog…but I kind of doubt it.

What purpose would it serve to leave me behind to write this blog?

That’s an unrealistic hypothesis.

I don’t know why I have no spam.

I curse it when it’s the only comments that I get….I curse it.

No….I delete it without cursing.

What would be the point of cursing?

I read it….just in case some weirdo is making an actual comment that only sounds like spam because of the misspellings and weird grammar.

Any actual comment that makes me think that I’m the “best” and to “keep writing” is one I wouldn’t want to delete.

Freaking tricky spammers.

Isaac and I went over to the new property and burned some stuff last night that I’d cut down….trying to get the property cleared up.

We had a big pile of logs that we doused (with water) before we left….going to have to go back tonight and finish the job.

I just realized that it’s a sad thing that I actually know how to spell “apocalypse”.

That’s kind of sad.

Now, I did sit in front of our console stereo when I was a little kid, listening to phonics records and saying “ppppppppppp” and “ttttttttttttt” and “phuhhh” and “puhhhhhh” and weird things like that….just so I could learn to read.

I paid my dues….I should know how to spell.

And I do know how….for the most part.

But “apocalypse” is kind of a different word.

The only way I’d know how to spell that one is if I’d given it some thought.

Why’d I ever give that word a second glance?

What did that ever do for me?

Thinking about “apocalypse”……pshawwwwwwwww…..or “puhhhhhhhh”.

So, I’ll go back and burn tonight…try and finish up the job….and I’ll probably have some more entertaining spam in my comments section tomorrow.

I can’t take the lack of irritation as a sign of the end times.

Sometimes bad things don’t happen for no reason.

We dropped our daughter off at school yesterday.

Of course, when it’s only a 45 minute drive up the road, it’s not as traumatic as if we put her on a boat to China.

But anyplace “out of the house” is “somewhere else”….so we’re missing her a little.

You get used to your children being around.

That’s good.

We pulled up in the parking lot of the school….and she was almost instantly surrounded by friends.

That’s a gratifying thing for a parent to see.

You want to know that your children are going to be able to hang around with people they enjoy.

It’s good to see that they have a life that’s separate from us.

That’s part of “leaving the nest”, you know?

Sparrow is in the next room, getting her diaper changed… and yelling.

She has a diaper with little skulls on it that she always picks out of the stack.

I don’t know why she gravitates towards that one.

She’s asked about a good tattoo….but Jenny and I think that she’s too young for that.

For now, a diaper with some skulls will have to be as far as she takes the “baby rebel” thing.

So we’re catching the parenting thing from both sides….little and totally dependent ones….and older ones who are spreading their wings and seeing how it feels to fly.

That should keep us busy for a while.

Like that Chinese proverb says…. I wonder which of us prayed for interesting times?

I go back to work tomorrow after two weeks off.

I wonder if I’ll remember how to open the mailboxes?

Zoe’s back at school.

That was a pretty seamless transition….it’s getting easier to drop her off.

Who knows what will happen next?

“Wildflower” Skylark

This is a great song….but except for the part about being a “free and gentle flower”, well….no trauma here. Zoe’s a little flower….

Photo by Zoe Rorvig

Robin Williams died while we were on vacation.

What the heck.

Sometimes, you take for granted the people who have been around forever.

It’s been a long time since I first laughed at Mork.

I had a long time to settle into the idea that Robin Williams was going to be around for a while….and I stopped paying close attention to his existence.

What’s strange to me is how many people are using his death to politicize….or philosophize…or even GET ANGRY OVER (with each other, mostly….some funny/strange comments floating around out there) his passing.

Here’s the real issue:  This guy….this funny, manic, driven by “whatever demons birth comedy” guy…this guy who always seemed to be “on”, no matter the situation….had something that made him so sad and hopeless that he ended “being”.

It wasn’t heroic or anything….it was just something that he must have considered for a while….or maybe not, maybe it was just a quick decision, I don’t know….anyway, he ended this part of his life and left behind the people and parts of his life that he loved.

It wasn’t a political statement….

It wasn’t caused by something that should be debated without end….

We can’t sit here….breathing, and for the most part, at least, approaching happiness….and pass judgement on what makes anyone decide that the best option for fixing the problem is to just stop….just stop “being”.

Now, it turns out that he had the early stages of Parkinson’s Disease going on.

Illness isn’t a license to kill yourself…but what is? And who needs a license anyway?

We live…and hope for something good to fill us up a little….get all of us over whatever speed bumps we come up against….give us enough hope to realize that it’s all changing every second…that nothing sad can be completely “forever”.

There’s hope that we ignore when depression fuels our sadness so completely.

Most of the anger that I mentioned earlier doesn’t even seem to be directed Robin Williams’ way.

Most of it seems to be anger over differences we all seem to have over the “spiritual consequences” of suicide…or the political environment and how it contributes to suicide (!)….or any weird personal side issues that can refocus and distract our attention from the sad issue at hand.

I think that sometimes we just like to hear ourselves talk.

Robin Williams was a funny, funny man.

He was sad…probably about a number of things….and the manic desperation….the comedy….the working out the problems using the swirling tornado of thought that seemed to be always with him…was the way of coping with the sadness that we never could look behind.

We couldn’t get beyond who we saw in front of us….making us laugh.

We needed him to be what we thought he was.

I hope he had some people in his life who he didn’t have to be funny with.