more normal than not

We have an old computer that I keep nursing along.

It might be smart to buy a new one at some point, but it’s cheaper to replace a part when needed….or clean it out….blow all the dust out….or, maybe, just reinstall Windows….again.

It crashes, sometimes.

Yesterday, we got the “blue screen of death” and the error code was something about “memory_management”.

“Memory management”.

So….I pulled RAM out and turned the computer back on….and then switched out for different RAM (after turning it back off) until I found some RAM that still worked.

It must have been some bad memory….because when I’d gotten rid of half of the 4 sticks, it started working again.

All of that hassle because of some bad memory.

That’s no surprise that something got a little stressed, though.

Our youngest daughter turns the computer off with her little toe pretty often, when she’s sitting on our laps while we’re working/screwing around on the PC.

That can’t be good for anything that runs on electricity….to turn it off suddenly like that.

(“PC”? Does anyone call it that anymore? It’s our “personal computer”…but…does anybody call it that anymore?)

Computers are easy.

I can’t get rid of memory like a computer can.

I can’t just pull it out and store it in a drawer.

(Why I want to save computer memory that’s bad is a good question for later…..)

All that computer memory knows is what I feed it, anyway.

It’s not like real memory…..like memory that’s inside my head.

It’s not like that.

It stores what I need….in the background….until I fill it with something to take its place.

Until I crowd the old memory out, it’s inside somewhere….

Whether I use it or not, it’s inside.

I have memories that I’m working on crowding out….inside my head.

I’m not talking about my computer now….I switched tracks, sort of.

I have a sponge up there that could use an occasional squeezing.

There’s no reason to haul around some of the stuff that I carry in my head.

I’m no computer….but sometimes my “memory_management” could use some work, too.

My memory could use some attention.

But….the more attention I pay to it, the more I remember.

I can’t run from a memory….or, really, run to a memory.

What a conundrum.

Maybe it’s better to try to just fill it up with good new memory?

Maybe I should just drink some more coffee?

 

 

Jenny thought that someone was in the room, padding around, until I explained to her that it was just Sparrow kicking my stomach.

That’s how we get woken up some days.

Sunday is the day of rest.

Half asleep in a couple of minutes after the stomach kicking incident ,though, , my mind swirling a little in the in-between place, I thought of the phrase “a great success in business and life”.

It wasn’t an affirmation….just a random thought.

But then I started to wonder if maybe that’s all it took to keep going….the belief….or the recognition…that you were a success at something?

Something.

Anything.

And then….I thought it was kind of sad that the word business came first before the word life.

That’s kind of sad.

(At this point, I am realizing that I need some coffee. It’s 6:41 and still dark outside….and after being kicked in the stomach repeatedly, I’m a little disoriented.)

I’m back. The water’s cooking for the coffee.

How’d business get to be any measure for how our lives are going, anyway?

Jenny told me that it killed her some to hear me describe myself as a mailman.

That was a nice compliment.

I guess that she wants me to do a children’s book like I’ve talked about for years.

I guess, too, that the mailman description is more for other people than it is for me.

Nobody has the time or patience to listen to me try to describe who I think that I really am.

“Mailman” is a lot more concise.

It’s early on a Sunday….and the water should be boiling, ready to be poured over the grounds in the french press.

My family is sleeping.

I’m a mailman….and a lot more….and, yes, I guess that I am…..

A GREAT SUCCESS IN….AND AT….BUSINESS AND LIFE.

Go, me!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=em3mIrbOeFw

I watched some more of this movie this evening….until Jenny realized I was watching it again….and I looked up and over and realized how bored the little guys were.

It doesn’t work if the little guys are watching a boring movie with Daddy.

They get restless.

Oh, well…..different strokes for different folks is what I say.

I listened to Yvon Chouinard again….while I was driving the mail around.

I have some old interviews on CD that I burned so I could hear what he has to say.

He’s an interesting fellow.

All of Patagonia….and his earlier company, Great Pacific Iron Works, were set up to make some money to do the outdoor activities he loved.

It’s inspiring to see that come together like that.

Creativity and business are a potent combination.

If you haven’t had a chance to see this movie yet, it streams on Netflix….maybe Amazon Prime, too.

It’s a good one….and it will make you want to pack a duffle and hit the road.

Check out the Patagonia website, too.

Good stuff.

 

Nate got a new experience yesterday.

He got to watch the man come and suck out the septic tank.

It’s good to know that pooping has repercussions.

There isn’t a magic fairy who comes and takes it all away.

It’s a guy with a big-tanked pooh-pumping truck who comes to get it every 10 years.

We weren’t having issues or anything….it had just been a really long time since the tank had been pumped….and I felt like it was time to have it done again….and…I thought it would be a really teachable moment to have with my young son.

Most of it was me trying to impress on him what a pain in the rear it would be if he dropped any of the tools down into the pooh chamber.

That’s a lesson: “Don’t drop tools into the pooh chamber.”

What a weird lesson.

It’s good to know what happens to things that we produce that need to be disposed of.

When (and we don’t have one….but) you use a garbage disposal, the waste goes away like magic.

Where does it go?

Downstream?

When you have a man come and take your trash away, you don’t give it a second thought.

If you know that it’s “away”….well, that’s far enough.

That’s not good, really.

We need at least a little bit of awareness of what our actions cost the environment.

Of course, there is a tanker truck full of what used to be down in that dark place we call our septic tank going who knows where….and I don’t give it much of a second thought.

I let the mystery be when it comes to our old pooh going away.

Nate and I don’t need to know about everything.

Sometimes it’s enough to just wave goodbye.

 

“let the mystery be” Iris Dement

Sitting watching old Walt Disney cartoons with the kids, I thought about a movie I hadn’t seen for a long time.

The movie was called “Hud”.

It’s a pretty old movie….Paul Newman and Patricia Neal….young people, still.

I watched it the first time on an old black and white television.

What a great movie.

It’s a weird jump to go from a cartoon to a movie like this.

Maybe it was the era of the cartoon that made me think about Hud.

Hard to say….

If you get a chance to watch it, pay attention to the scene where Paul Newman’s character, Hud, is talking to Patricia Neal’s character, Alma….I think that it’s when Alma has decided to go away.

She’s standing in a doorway….Hud is standing on the steps leading up to the doorway…and Alma says something about a relationship between them that might have been.

It’s a sexy scene.

It’s a sexy scene….without any sex.

That’s the way to do it.

Pretty amazing.

Like I said, it’s a weird jump to go from Walt Disney to Hud.

Funny how a mind can work.