back in the mail jeep….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnm0q4husfU

After a long Christmas break, full of sickness and, thankfully, strong recoveries, I’m back….back in the mail jeep….back making my long loop….delivering the mail.

Now, don’t let me give the impression that I don’t know that I’m blessed to be able to do what I do.

My job is great and I better make sure that I always know that.

I need to know that what I do is pretty great.

It’s great to have a job where I have a chance of supporting my family.

I’ve been on the other side….where the job fell a little short of what we might have wanted.

This is a lot better.

But….wouldn’t it be something to do something where we could live anywhere in the world and still support our needs?

“Needs” is kind of an open-ended term….but, there are places in the world where “needs” can be satisfied for a smaller amount of money.

It’s good for kids to have some stability.

It’s good to see the same tree when you open your door.

It’s good to travel, though.

This is when the itchy feet take over….when I’m getting ready to strap myself back into the harness….get in front of the plow.

This will pass….this will pass…..this will…

Maybe I should work at something where we can be firmly planted….but able to uproot whenever we wanted?

Who ever figures it all out?

Here’s another video….

There’s lots of videos of people talking about how to do what you want to do….where you want to do it.

if i could learn to use, a comma….

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There are details in a life that become unnecessary focuses.

That become unnecessary foci.

That become feesees that don’t need to be.

That, even, become feces.

(What’s the plural of focus, anyway?)

And….how do you use a comma?

Maybe “focus” is the wrong word. Maybe “fear” is a better one.

Some of this stuff is a lesson learned early….some of it is learned and then questioned for a lifetime….like how, quietly, in the back of my private mind, I’m sometimes wondering, “Is that what they called a ‘comma splice’? This is going to be pretty darn embarrassing if that’s a comma splice. Is that a comma splice?”

It makes you not even want to try….worrying about the mistakes that you make because you either don’t remember or don’t understand.

Of course, that’s not me. I’ve heard that other people are nervous about things like that…..but…that’s not me.

I guess that a solution might be to just stick with what you know….and write sentences that don’t need commas.

That might be a good solution….to just avoid situations where you don’t have to use questionably underdeveloped grammar skills.

Don’t go out on a limb.

Don’t use commas.

Don’t even get me started on the semi-colon.

Ah, what the heck? You’re either competent and productive….or scared and bound up….too sure that you’ll make a mistake if you even try….too nervous about embarrassing outcomes to even put a brush to canvas or your fingers on a keyboard.

That’s probably why I majored in art.

It’s hard to tell if you don’t really know how to use a comma if you paint a picture without words.

(People avoid certain social situations because they can’t remember which fork is the one to use for their salad!)

It’s a kooky world.

Maybe it’s best to just scratch it all down…let the words float out and land somewhere….google “how to use a comma” and stop worrying about form?

Nah….art….writing….to not pay attention to form is just another laziness.

Everything follows form.

Look at nature…..it’s all about form.

I need to relearn some grammar.

It’d be mo’bettah to learn me some grammar.

When you get down to it, the real stuff is always still there, though.

That dam is still broke….and the water and the fish are gone….and now the old pond is just a mud pit with a river in the center.

I think that it’s moving from the “you can’t change what is” corner of my world to the “man….that really sucks” corner.

It’s a drag when a dam bursts.

Back to this comma thing….just for a moment.

A person lives and works….lays it all out there….and, sometimes….makes mistakes…..and….sometimes….makes something a little more victorious than a mistake.

What am I ever going to accomplish if I plan to never make a mistake?

What a waste….to live a life so carefully.

What a crummy excuse for living….to be afraid, of using, a comma…..incorrectly,.

Sometimes, you just need to enjoy a really good egg sandwich….and leave the rest alone.

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I could cut down every tree….and….

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We cut down a fairly big oak tree that was dead on the property yesterday.

It’s always kind of spooky for me when I drop a tree like that.

I don’t have enough experience doing it to feel really comfortable with the process.

When the tree has punky looking dead sections….and a lot of heavy limbs overhead….it’s nerve-wracking to start its downward momentum.

But….I cut it down and cut it up…and didn’t get killed…..and we should get some decent firewood out of it…and maybe make a planter from the punkiest and biggest piece of the trunk.

Now I just need to figure out how to finish hollowing out enough of the punky trunk to plant something in it.

Cutting down a tree like that doesn’t get me any closer to turning that property into something that we can use, though.

Isaac said that it’s a pretty expensive storage facility at this point….and he’s right.

Cutting down a big tree makes it feel like we’re doing something, though.

The “pond” is a big mud pit with a strong stream of water flowing through its center now.

It’s amazing how a breach in the earthen dam can do that.

I guess the fish and the turtles are someplace downstream….in a river or another lake somewhere.

I liked it when they and the water were closer to home.

This “New Year stuff” is kind of a bugger, though.

Why’d we set up a system where we have a marker like that? Why’d we set up something that demands that we look at things in a way that makes us think that it’s important to turn a corner….establish a new paradigm….just “get’r done”…..just because we put a new calendar on the wall?

Why couldn’t we just coast through another year….not getting the things we have to do…..done?

Ennui is easy.

I could cut down every single tree over on that property, and it would feel like I was accomplishing something….but it wouldn’t get me any closer to the place that I need to be.

I need to work on that house.

I need to work on that barn.

I need to work on that garage.

I need to plow that field.

I need to get a dog.

I need to find a different truck.

I need to find a different minivan.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeed to…..

Man.

I wish that I hadn’t started that list.

Right now, I need to go make some coffee.

Start with the easy and small stuff.

Coffee I can handle.

I need some.

angry at the driver

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I woke up this morning angry at a FedEx driver who was never supposed to come.

I dreamed that he’d come back to our house a couple of days after the delivery was supposed to take place….and had given me the excuse that the package (that didn’t need a signature) hadn’t been delivered because no one had been home.

I yelled at him….because we had been home…and because he didn’t beep the horn…or come to the door….or TRY to deliver the package at all.

WT….Heck?

Why am I dreaming about that the first night into the New Year?

The day that Jenny had her oral surgery, I was slicing my hand open on the cabinet of our rusty washing machine….trying to get the washer freed up so it would spin out the water again.

I greased it….and the shaft let loose and… it was spinning away.

I had to take it apart to grease it….and then, after putting it all back together, had to take it apart again to put the part on that I’d put out on the lawn when I took it all apart the first time.

While I was cleaning up all the water that came out when I tipped it over to work on it, Jenny was getting her throat lanced.

I should have been there with her.

What the heck, though? A new year doesn’t come around for anger and regret. I shouldn’t dwell on the latter and RELEASE THE KRAKEN on the former.

I have better things to do with my life… and time…. than that.

Anyway, this time comes around in such little chunks that burn up and blow away so easily.

It’s hard to light a mature oak tree on fire, but if you split it down into little pieces, you can light it with a single match.

Man…if you break it down far enough, you could light it with a magnifying glass!!

YOU COULD LIGHT IT WITH A MAGNIFYING GLASS!!!

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YOU COULD ILLUMINATE….EXPAND….SEE IT MORE CLOSELY AND MORE TRULY THAN YOU’D EVER HAD A CHANCE TO SEE IT….LET THE SUN SHINE THROUGH AT JUST THE RIGHT ANGLE…AND WATCH IT BURN AND FLY AWAY….ALL WITH THE HELP OF MAGNIFICATION!!

Little chunks are easy to burn.

I don’t have time to burn.

Even if I could take a really close look at the time and consider where it goes, I’d probably still find a way to burn through my days.

I don’t have time to burn….but I burn it anyways.

I wonder why you only get a true photograph of the time you spent when the vacation is over?

What a liability it is that we can measure our lives in minutes.

A minute is a tinder dry little chunk…it burns so easily.

Why don’t we get a chance to see the whole tree when it would do us some good?

That’s a revolution….resolution….to pay attention.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

Time flies when you’re not.

Time…just….flies.

 

And…whatever happened to Leo Sayer?

“another year” Leo Sayer

tomorrow….and all the year long

Zoe and I watched a movie on Netflix while everybody else was asleep on Christmas Eve.

We had it on while we wrapped all the presents.

The movie was called “This Was Tomorrow”.

Holy smokes.

That looks fun.

This video is the movie that the festival released after event was over.

Apparently they do this “aftermovie” every year.

It’s a little bit shorter than the one you can watch on Netflix.

Search YouTube if you want to watch any of the other ones….they’re all pretty wild.

In my head, I’m bouncing to the EDM (electronic dance music) with all the other ravers, but if the truth were known (to me, at least), the older fellow from Georgia who was featured in the film that Netflix is showing is probably a little closer to being a contemporary than all these young hipsters.

He looked more mature….more sedate.

We’ll ring in the New Year with some ice cream and soda….put the little guys to bed….and then we’ll probably fall asleep on the couch…trying to wait up for the big ball to drop.

It’s not a house full of non-stop party people at our home these days.

Or….maybe it is a non-stop party house….with the grown-ups trying to chase down the revelers and getting a little bit more exhausted for all our efforts?

Zoe and I both looked up how much it costs to go to this festival.

I think that admission was around 800 dollars….and camping privileges were something like 1200.

That doesn’t include food or airfare to the festival.

Man….bunch of high roller ravers….that’s for sure.

But….what a thing to add to your range of experiences, huh?

I’ll write more in the coming year…..starting tomorrow.

Starting…..tomorrow.

Tomorrow.

 

Tomorrowland website

to the sea

I guess that you could call it the great Christmas Eve flood of 2015.

It rained hard the day before Christmas….harder than I’ve ever seen it rain around here.

Of course, I was delivering the mail that day….and inbetween trying to keep the mail reasonably dry and keep my Jeep on the road, I probably wasn’t thinking about if it was really the worst rain that I’d ever seen.

It was a crazy heavy rain, though.

Jenny and three of the four children were sick with strep, too….so we were in survival mode….recovery mode….and didn’t get out too much over the early part of my break…. except to go to the doctor’s office.

Yesterday, Jenny was feeling better….so, after going into town to get another antibiotic to try to get her well again, we finally stopped over at the piece of property we bought a year or so ago….no, that’s not right…a year and a half ago.P1030300

I went down to the pond and heard a new sound….the stream must be rushing hard (?)….and when I got all the way to where the edge of the water used to be, saw that the pond wasn’t there anymore.

The dam had broken.

All the fish were gone….downstream somewhere….carried away in what must have been a pretty dramatic rush of water.

There was a problem with the overflow….the old pipe was plugged…so when it rained like it did, I guess that the old earth dam couldn’t take the new pressure….and the water pouring over it took the dam out.

The pond joined our property, but because it wasn’t ours I never tried to do any repair work to it.

Shucks.

I kind of liked that pond….liked going down to look at the fish…liked seeing how the grass carp we bought and put into the pond were keeping it cleaned out.

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I can’t imagine how half an acre of pond must have looked pouring out where the dam used to be.

The trees at the dam end of the pond are uprooted and laying down….no dirt to hold them anymore.

There’s still a lot of water flowing through where the pond used to be…so I suppose that it could be a pond again if someone wanted to rebuild the dam.

(Funny about that dam, though….it looked like it was made of sand! I don’t know where you even find soil like that around here….soil so soft and granular…so weak. I’m surprise that the pond lasted as long as it did when you see what the dam was made out  of…)

It might be a good time to clean it all out and get it back up to something like a pond. It’s easier to get all the stumps and downed trees out when there’s no water in it.

Who has the money to do that, though?

Pond.

RIP.

(and….where’d my fish go?)

empty waiting room

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In the end, the waiting room was just like any other.

We were fooled at first entry….the room was practically empty…and it was too early to read the signs of the long wait ahead on the faces of the ones already in the room.

Initially, we thought that this emergency room was better than the rest.

It wasn’t.

It was just like all the rest.

Of course, our experience (thankfully) with emergency rooms is limited.

We don’t really know what “all the rest” means.

It’s hard to understand that behind the automatic door is a lot of rooms and hallways….and even doors leading to a larger door that an ambulance can pull up to and drop people who find themselves in a big enough emergency that they can’t even sit in the room we’re sitting in…..and wait like us.

We sit and wait….and don’t see that there might be situations more dire going on behind the curtain.

That’s what takes so long….not these people waiting impatiently out in the waiting room.

It’s all these people coming by ambulance that are messing up our expediency.

But…even if we know it, we don’t see it.

So, after a 6 hour wait, we got in, got a different antibiotic….or, one to supplement the first antibiotic….got some intravenous fluid….and walked out after 7 1/2 hours feeling a whole lot better.

That’s time well spent.

Christmas is a bad time to be sick….but the Christmas break is a great time to get well.

And….Man!!!

We have INSURANCE!!!

BLESS THE USPS!!

WE HAVE INSURANCE!!

There sure are a lot of sick people at the hospital, though.

I better stay away from there if I don’t want to get ill.

 

“Jesus is Waiting” Al Green

 

this is fair

What we give back is what makes the world go round.

The world spins on its own….but maybe it really turns on the good things we do for each other.

This Ted Talk is about asking for and receiving the things we need.

It’s about a different way of looking for help….and supposing that people are good and are willing to step up when needed.

We get….when we give.

How about that?

popping the pig

This is something that Nate wanted for Christmas.

It’s a game of chance and skill.

Mostly chance.

It gets pretty intense….you roll the dice, then you put a burger in the pig’s mouth and then you press his head down the right number of times.

You find out how many times to press his head down by looking at the burger before you drop it down into his mouth.

You have to be disciplined to play this game….you can’t just “get jiggy” with it and start throwing burgers into his mouth before you look at the number on the back of the burger.

It’s a crazy game….eventually, the pig has enough and he throws up his hands….and the game is over.

Then….you dump the burgers out of his rear end and start the game over again.

Crazy.

Action packed.

Check this game out in the next video, though.

Talk about CRAZY!!!

If we spoke Spanish, this is what we would have been playing on Christmas Day.

Man. It’s good here.

Look at this place!

Norway!

Man….it’s pretty.

But, you know? It’s pretty darn good here.

Heatwave and all…uncharacteristically warm Christmas weather….and….all….it’s pretty darn great here.

The big wind-down is in effect after a very low-key Christmas….Jenny hopefully recuperating from strep throat….just laying low until all the illness is out of the vicinity.

It’s easy to wish that you were someplace else, sometimes….but it is so beautiful here in so many ways.

I think that I’ll stick around for a little while…at least until we’re all healthy again.

Can’t travel when we’re sick.

It’s hard enough to find a Doctor on Christmas Day.

Imagine if we didn’t even speak the language?