Nate went to have his physical for kindergarten done yesterday.
Part of it was getting another vaccine.
Vaccines….that’s a whole kettle of fish. Try to talk to a doctor about the reasons (other than convenience) of piggy backing all these vaccines on top of each other….or the need to vaccinate against sexually transmitted diseases in a really young person….it gets kind of unpleasant to try and “converse” about that.
Most doctors don’t “converse”….they lecture. That’s the beauty of a couple more years of schooling….it gives you the right to lecture the ignorant masses.
(The doctor said that Nate needed one of the vaccines because sometimes young children bite their teacher…..and the teacher might have the disease and when the child draws blood with their powerful bite, they might get infected with the teacher’s illness. Jenny said that sometimes people are bitten by rabid raccoons but that we don’t vaccinate against rabies….why vaccinate to protect the biting children against infected teachers? Kind of nuts.)
Vaccines are a hot topic at the doctor’s office.
Anyway, this isn’t about doctors and vaccines….really.
Nate had to get a shot.
The last time that he got a shot, the nurse gave him the shot and he looked at her and said, “thank you”.
This time, it took three people to hold him down.
I think that the only difference was that this time he knew what was coming.
Running is kind of like that.
Yesterday, I thought it might be hard to start again.
This morning, I knew that it was hard.
That’s the difference….I guess.
I don’t run fast…and I don’t run a long way.
When you don’t run fast, if you run a long way it takes a long time to do it.
I don’t have that much time…..even if I had that much endurance.
This short film is about the first man to run the Western States 100.
The Western States 100 was a horse race…but when Gordy Ainsleigh’s horse couldn’t compete, he decided that he’d enter anyway and just run the race on foot.
Now the race is one of the most famous ultra-running events in the world…..but back then, it was a horse race that a man decided to run without his injured horse.
It’s interesting to see some of these old running movies…..
It was a pretty innocent time.
(That’s what you say when you start getting older….”Why, back in the day, why that’s when things were really good!! So…..innocent….”)
My first blog post….when I was trying to figure out how you did a “blog post” (whatever that was…) had a picture of some land we inherited up in Idaho.
This picture was taken on the way to the land in Idaho.
Maybe it was taken in Montana…..I’m not sure….but I know it’s on the road to “get there”.
Maybe that’s all you ever really know….the journey to “get there”?
Anyway…..one thousand is a big number.
I’m going to go for a run this morning…..the first one in about a year.
I’ll finish this if I get back.
There. I’m back. I shouldn’t use words like “if”….even if I’m just screwing around. Talking about getting back and using the word “if” isn’t really funny.
It felt this morning like it always feels to start back running….leaden and not a whole lot of fun….but not really all that bad. It’s pretty dark out on the road at 5 AM, though.
ONE THOUSAND BLOG POSTS!!
How about that?
I impress myself.
I was going to do a big list of stuff that I’d figured out over the course of almost three years and a thousand posts…..mostly just to show myself that I knew how to do a bullet list….but after my run, I reconsider.
How much have I learned in the course of writing 1000 blog posts? Probably a whole lot.
How much of it do I remember? Probably a little.
I was going to write about how we complicate things…..things like the Gospel message….or, more “down to earth”, even “family”.
Relationships are complicated.
They get more complicated when we try to figure them out.
What do you say about that? It’s a conundrum.
I was going to write about how much easier it is to watch a YouTube video of a guy running than it is to actually run.
That’s a “gospel” (with a small g) truth. It’s hard to actually do things.
I was going to write about how much I love being “on the road”…..but how much I love being home.
I was going to write about paying attention to things….things like family and children growing and taking care of your friends.
I was going to write about paying attention.
Maybe the Devil is distraction?
I don’t really know what the “Devil” is.
I know that I miss things when I’m distracted by all the other really important things……all the things that, later, I say, “what was I so upset about?”
Maybe I don’t learn all that much…..maybe I just repeat what I’d forgotten….and fool myself into thinking it’s something “new”?
Maybe this blog is like running for me? Maybe I’m just putting down words….taking another step….trying to “just keep going”….even if I don’t really end up anywhere.
Maybe I’m just trying to “keep going”.
You know….when I really calm down and think about it hard for a second, maybe the thing that I’m learning as I do “go along” in this life is that the main thing is to just keep going.
I try and limit myself to 500 words every morning…..and I’ve gone over that limit this morning.
It always takes more words to express something that’s not expressible.
What do you say about “love”? That’s what it’s all about, after all…just “love”.
Oh, well. One thousand times I’ve sat here and watched the little letters trip up onto the computer screen.
That’s a lot of typing.
I guess that Jennifer Warnes said it more succinctly than I do……”maybe what’s good gets a little bit better…..and maybe what’s bad gets gone….”
If you’re a “never tethered dog” who sits by his stake…..day after day…..out of “habit”, it sure does take the sting out of your choice of immobility if you remember that you could take off and go at any moment.
We just got back from a big road trip a couple of weeks ago, and it’s good to know that “it’s possible”.
It’s possible….even with little kids.
It’s harder with kids….it’s hard to cover the miles of ground that we covered with children…..(you mostly have to do the “big jogs” at night when everybody is sleeping)….but….it’s possible.
It’s kind of scary in an old minivan, too….but maybe it’s only blind faith that gets you through….blind faith and a Midas shop in Harrisburg, PA that will do a brake job in the rain and let you use the parts you were going to put on in the motel parking lot.
Every road trip that we take makes me more sure that another one is possible.
Maybe that’s what road trips are for?
Maybe they aren’t completely about “getting there”?
Maybe they’re about the changes that they make inside of us?
Maybe it’s about knowing how much you can do….and how far you can go?
And, if you get a chance to do enough road trips, you remember what you’ve learned….that good things happen more often than bad things, that the world is a big place, that you can experience things that stick with you in a good way.
You learn that good memories crowd out bad memories….every single time.
You learn that “running to” something feels a whole lot different than “running from” something….even if you’re going in the same direction.
You learn that a well-timed juice box and a handful of cheese crackers can soothe and make the trip a little nicer for a couple of miles.
I love road trips.
Love them.
I also love being “home”, though.
I love being home a lot more when I know that we can get away for a while….and see some of what’s “out there”.
But….maybe I’ll be like this guy….an appreciator and encourager.
Worse things could happen than to be beloved by the people around you.
I better get working on that…..sometimes it’s hard to make up for lost ground.
“Beloved” doesn’t happen overnight….unless you save the President or rescue a puppy from a burning airplane or something.
But….again….but…..this guy!! Bill Dooper!
Man.
All the heroes….all the great accomplishments that people achieve…..all the races that people run….all the marks that are left that inspire us….all that stuff kind of pales momentarily for me watching this guy.
Sincere appreciation is something kind of beautiful.
This guy is pretty sincere….and that’s good to see.
It’s good to see the effect his sincerity has on the people around him.
A “good guy” leaves a fine and strong mark on the world.
I’m 55 years old and I haven’t run for a while….but if I worked up to it, I still believe that I could do this.
I believe that I can do it….but I’m delusional in a lot of areas.
Maybe…I could run to work.
I could do this…..enjoying myself, picking all the low hanging fruit.
But….what am I going to do when I get to work?
I deliver the mail.
I use a mail Jeep to do it.
If I showed up at work in my running shoes and little nylon shorts, I would be useless to the USPS.
I’d be tired at that point….I couldn’t run to deliver the mail.
(Maybe I could run to deliver the mail….maybe I could be stronger than I think. I shouldn’t sell myself short…after all, my route is only 71.25 miles long.)
I couldn’t carry all the mail that I have to deliver.
Some of the packages are pretty big.
Unless I pulled a rickshaw, I don’t know how I could carry it all.
Besides, we have something called “percent to plan”… and running….no matter how much I improved in my strength and speed….wouldn’t get me close to what the Postal System demands.
A man can’t run that fast.
So….that’s the reason I don’t run to work.
Other than the demands of my job….and being a man who is getting older and who probably never had much of a mighty running mojo, anyway….I would be so far into running to work.
If I could.
(Man….it’s really good that I need my Mail Jeep. It’s nice to have these “rock solid excuses” to protect me from having to live up to my aspirations.)
Other than that, I’d be running already.
I’d need to get an early start on the day to make it to Saluda by 7:30.
I’m stiff when I wake up in the morning….like somebody bashed me with the baseball bat that’s labeled “old”.
I don’t feel like that when I’m running.
But….I don’t want to run when I feel like that.
It all seems like some sort of mental game.
What a conundrum.
This video is a good example of why I want to start running again.
I think that maybe it’s all about getting out someplace beautiful… and peaceful….and just having some good quiet time.
Jenny needs that, too.
Kids don’t understand quiet time.
I think that they understand “beautiful”….but “quiet reflection” seems to be foreign to their character.
So….unless they fall asleep and we can put them in the jog stroller…..or unless we get over our (rightly) aversion to ever drugging them so that they fall asleep and we can put them into the jog stroller…it’s next to impossible to get a run in when they’re awake.
We aren’t going to leave them home with the dog, either.
We don’t even have a dog.
Maybe we just have to get up earlier and earlier….become some kind of ultramarathoning vampires….creatures of the night…..with a good supply of rechargeable batteries for our headlamps?
Maybe that’s the way to go?
Who knows what “the way to go” is, anyway?
There’s a lot of different directions.
But….I do know that it’s pretty easy to just sit in an office chair and watch YouTube videos about people doing interesting and athletic things.
That doesn’t stress me physically….or emotionally.
Simple as pie, that.
And, you know?
It’s really pretty simple to just “start”, again, too.
You lace up your shoes and click the door shut behind you.
I get up early enough at my house that I have some quiet time…..and the only noise is the birds singing…..maybe some bugs….bugging…..a dog barking down the road somewhere.
It doesn’t really sound like the birds are saying, “MAKE THE DEAL!! MAKE THE DEAL!!”
I don’t know that they engage in commerce….whether it’s the Euro or our dollar…..I don’t think that birds care about that.
They build their nests…..but I don’t think they have any other bird showing them where to do it…..or crowing, “location, location, location”.
Maybe what they’re saying is, “HERE IT COMES!!! HERE IT COMES!!!”
That would make more sense for the time right before the daylight.
Here it comes…..another day….another chance.
It’s kind of funny, really, if I have a second cup of coffee and think about things from a different angle.
We consider ourselves at the top of the….whatever. Food chain? Some other hierarchy?
We’re the kings of the beasts.
But….these birds are flying around….singing in the morning….taking care of only what needs to be taken care of….flying around and enjoying the rest of the time….sitting on a wire, maybe.
Unless something happens and a cat eats you, it’s a pretty appealing scenario.
I worry about stuff….and I can’t fly.
But I’m the “superior species”?
That’s pretty darn goofy.
And how do I know that there’s not some dolphins somewhere hanging out with their friends, discussing how they’re the bigshots in the world picture….the superior species hanging out in the water….the smartypants of the ocean world?
Do I have so much hubris that I can say with certainty that I’m better than a dolphin….or a really smart monkey?
Ah, that’s goofy…..that’s just the “coffee talkin’ “.
I know that I’m better than the angry guy at the Ingles deli….why wouldn’t I be better than a dolphin?
Until proven wrong, I will say that I’m better than a monkey….or a dolphin.
I’ll say it just to feel better about my situation….which is good, by the way, but would be even better if I was superior to as many different things as possible.
In the meantime, these birds are singing….talking to each other….the sun is coming up….and the day is on its way to being something different than night.
It’s a pretty good system that God set up….new morning after new morning….evening and a chance to rest…..chance after chance for something good to come around.
It could have been a grey sameness….but there’s a lot of color and variation in this life.
If I step back to remember that, I can’t help but feel thankful for another breath.
Anyway….if I was going to veer off into a metaphysical corner, I might think that in the swirling mass of molecules that I am that I have more of a connection to that bird flying and singing than I notice when I just look at the solid “me”.
“Spirit” is hard to contain….no matter how much we think we’re separate from each other.
These birds singing?
Why, that happens all the time…what’s so special about a bird singing?
I’d like to think that it was a lot less expensive to go to Disneyland back then…..and it probably was “less expensive”.
(My friend, Clay, was saying yesterday that he bought a 1971 Super Beetle….in 1971…. for 2.300 dollars, though….so “expensive” must change over time.)
I don’t think that you could buy a car that cheaply now.
Anyway, my parents took us to Disneyland back in the mid-sixties….and I skipped merrily through the streets….completely jacked up to be little and excited with life and the Magic Kingdom.
When we moved East, my parents took us to DISNEY WORLD!!
It was even bigger and better than Disneyland….and, even though I was older and didn’t skip through the streets anymore, it was pretty darn cool.
My Dad couldn’t move far enough to get away from “Disney whatever”….World or Land, it followed us somehow.
I will bet that it was kind of expensive.
Even in the old dollars.
We’re going to a place called Great Wolf Lodge for my youngest son’s birthday this year.
We’re staying in a “theme suite” called the “Wolf Den”.
In 40 years, Nate will be able to say, looking back at how much of our “old money” we spent to do this escapade, “Hey!! That was pretty cheap!! Imagine how much it would be to do that today?!!”
Of course, it would be really uncomfortable for Nate to stay in the special cave room with the bunk beds…..(AND HIS OWN TV)….when he’s 46.
That wouldn’t fly in 40 years.
In 40 years, he’ll be more excited about the free happy hour at the Embassy Suites.
He’ll care more about the free breakfast than about meeting Mickey.
That’s what time does.
THAT IS WHAT TIME DOES.
The reason I mention any of this is because I don’t remember any vigorous complaining about the money when my parents were doing any of this stuff they did for us….when I was little.
They didn’t complain about it when I was big, either.
It’s just not a part of the experience that I remember.
They just did good things for us.
Now, I’m the Daddy and I bitch and moan.
What’s funny about that?
That’s no fun for anybody.
If something’s a ripoff and they’ve got you over a barrel and they nickel and dime you over every single thing that a kid might notice and then decide is vital for a “fun experience” to occur….well…..I better learn to pretend that I don’t notice and just suck it up and dole out the dough….and keep my mouth shut and let everybody JUST HAVE A NICE TIME.
If something’s a major ripoff…..JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.
That is a life lesson.
You don’t want the childhood memory to be that Daddy whined about spendingany money.
What a crummy legacy that would be to leave behind…..”My father was one of the GREAT CHEAPSKATES.”
That would be crummy.
Sometimes, the joy costs.
Most times it’s free….but sometimes you have to spend some money.
Suck it up….and let the joy be joyful…..and let these little guys stay blissfully unaware of adult concerns.
Keep your freaking cheap mouth shut!!
That’s a “memo to self”.
“when you wish upon a star” Pinocchio soundtrack….
My friend and neighbor put an ad on Facebook this morning that she had bantam chicks for sale.
That was kind of exciting….we need some chickens again.
But….we’re not ready for them yet….so I’ll have to skip them.
I can get excited about stuff that’s close to home.
But…..and…..yet……CHECK THIS OUT!!
Who knew that Flagstaff was so cool….or that it was a place where athletes might congregate….or that it was SO COOL?!!!!
I guess that it just goes to show….once again….that I CAN’T KNOW EVERYTHING.
I thought, “It must be pretty darn hot in Arizona…..out there in the desert….out there with all the cactus and sand and sun-battered adobe and rattlesnakes.”
That’s what I thought….and then I see all these people running up a hill that looks like it’s up in Colorado….or out in Idaho.
Who knew that it was like that?
I guess that’s what’s good about a little study of GEOGRAPHY…..it gives you a chance to figure out what’s out there in the world.
I never got a handle on what might be behind the squiggles on the maps, though.
No matter where I drive, I’m never completely sure where I’m going to end up.
It all changes with the weather, anyway.
You have to bloom where you’re planted.
You have to love where you are…..every minute.
You have to love the people who share the space you’re in.
YOU HAVE TO. PERIOD.
Your life is going to be a long string of crummy if you don’t figure that out at some point.
But…..in the same breath….”where you’re planted” isn’t a static thing.
Rubber on the wheel is there for a reason.
We can still buy gasoline.
The world is our oyster.
So…..be happy where you are….but….mobile and anticipatory…..waiting for the next movement…..little Chris Columbus’…..setting off towards the setting sun…..chasing daylight.
