more normal than not

Sometimes, I see a video or read a book and think something along the lines of “I should be….” or “I wonder why I didn’t….” or “maybe….if…..” .

What I do….is “what I do”…..I don’t think that there’s any confusion there….but I waste a lot of time thinking about the experiences that seem to be on the edge of where I am “right now”.

Mystery and adventure are simple.

What’s that Chinese saying about “exciting times”?

You can make things pretty adventurous pretty quickly if you don’t mind your business.

Things can get weird at the drop of a hat.

It’s not a big journey to peek down over the wall to see the grass on the other side, either….the grass that looks so much greener in the shade of the fence.

I’m not a hard man to fool sometimes.

The grass looks greener when you think that it’s the place to be.

Big secret, huh?

I guess that everybody feels like they might be better suited to doing “something else”.

Maybe that dissatisfaction is what pushes us onto something better…..or anchors us to something that always stays the same?

Sometimes dissatisfaction “pushes us” to something better….sometimes it just takes our legs out from under us.

Sometimes I feel like the dog that pulls the cart.

A horse would be better suited to the job.

But if I keep pulling….and don’t bark too much or go off course chasing squirrels….nobody notices that it’s just a dog pulling that load.

Nobody notices that maybe what I am or what I do should raise any eyebrows.

As long as I keep pulling the load, nobody thinks a second thought about the dog that pulls the cart.

And then there’s the thought that you better get your head screwed on straight and just appreciate the fact that you have a cart to pull.

You better quit complaining and just keep wagging your tail and keep on pulling that load.

“Gratitude” is a lot harder than “whining”.

It’s all a broken record….skipping on into eternity….”what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if……what is, what is, what is, what is….”

“What is”……

It’s not so bad to be a dog with a cart to pull.

 

Here’s a Jonny Lang song that’s pretty good…..a different kind of “grass is greener” situation than what I’m talking about, though…..

“the other side of the fence” Jonny Lang

I don’t comment on things people say on Facebook very often….unless it’s to say something so transparently silly that it might be amusing….but not usually offensive.

When I interjected the comment “extremes distort perception” into some friend’s conversation a while back, I was surprised how upset people got.

I don’t think that I handle confrontation very well.

Maybe that’s why I try and stay a little bit “silly”.

Maybe it’s all a passive aggressive dodge?

I don’t really know.

I think I know what I meant when I said “extremes distort….” ….but I’m not sure that I explained it at all at the time.

I think that what I was trying to get at is that “extremes” on either side make people make judgements that aren’t always accurate.

The rich think that poverty is a failure of intelligence or character or energy or motivation…..and the poor think that the rich have stacked the game….that they’re selfish….greedy…..

I don’t think that you can make a value judgement about any of it.

I’ve never been rich….yet….

I’ve lacked money….to a big degree.

The lack of money with a new family can make things pretty strange.

Not having any money when I was single was kind of a funny game sometimes.

Not having money is different with a young family.

(What young family doesn’t need money? What the heck….that’s a silly observation. That’s part of the typical experience….)

Anyway…that personal stuff is kind of irrelevant.

If you fall at the outer edge of the extreme, it would be hard not to have some strong opinions about what the “other side” is up to.

I guess if you were “rich”, you’d figure out a way to get richer….and figure out a way to keep your money out of the hands of the “other guys”.

Who wants to give most of your money to some poor dude?

And who cares about running your camel through the eye of a needle, anyways?

Who even has a camel these days?

And if you were really poor….maybe the rich would be the enemy….somebody different who has everything that you think that you want?

I guess that’s what I meant by “distorted perception”.

We can’t bridge the differences.

We can’t bridge the differences…..and we don’t want some ragamuffin tromping around in the lower garden if we live in a mansion.

I would love to figure out a good, non-damaging way to make a bunch of money.

That would be kind of fun to make a bunch of money.

I don’t have any judgements to make about what anyone else is up to….not all the rich people are from the dark side.

Maybe extreme wealth….or poverty…takes you away from a place where you can understand what the other person is going through?

Maybe when you are really poor, you’re too busy just trying to survive to think about any stupid class conscious BS?

Maybe the rich are really just a bunch of evil people?

That’s a whole lot easier to just say that the wealthy are evil.

That’s a weight off my shoulders….now that I finally can say that.

The evil rich.

Maybe that’s what I meant all along?

Forget all that “understanding each other” crap.

And….check this short article out.

That’s what I thought. The deck is always stacked.

That’s the real perception.

 

I’m surrounded by stuff at this desk that I sit at to write this blog.

I see a light sabre…..and a hot glue gun…..my hat….a new sim card for Isaac’s phone….lots of other stuff.

There is life going on around me….that’s for sure.

I changed out the u-joints and hubs on the Cherokee yesterday.

It wasn’t hard to tell that the u-joints were bad….rusty and dry.

I took one side apart and each cup of the joint was full of dry and broken needle bearings….bad. It’s not supposed to be like that. They should be greasy and shiny.

I took the other side apart and two of the cups didn’t even have any needle bearings at all.

How do the needle bearings get out?

Do they just turn to dust and blow away in the wind?

If you watch the beginning of this video, you’ll see what I did to change out the hubs…..and you’ll get to see what I have to do to fix the thing that I discovered I had to do….but didn’t have the time….or the parts….or the tools….to fix when all the beginning stuff in the video was still off the Jeep.

I guess that’s the way it goes…the deeper you get into something, the more you see that needs to be fixed.

The upper ball joints are kind of loose really loose….so I will have to tear it all apart again….and then go deeper…..deeper…..deeper…..tearing more apart as I go…..until I get to the point where I can fix the thing that needs to be renewed.

The thing that I do with this car is a really crummy way to treat a vehicle.

If I was a Jeep….and I had feelings…I’d be pretty sad when they put my steering wheel on the right hand side of the car.

I might have heard the stories out on the line.

I might know what was coming.

I’d be sad to be a mail Jeep.

Anyway….I did the job yesterday that I’d been putting off for weeks….and it wasn’t any harder than most of the things that I’ve done to our cars.

Every thing that I do with these cars gets me over a hump of apprehension.

I can do this stuff.

I CAN!!

If nothing else….to be out in the gravel driveway…..covered in grease…..looking for that 13 mm wrench that was “right here”….but that’s under my knee now….if nothing else, it teaches me that I can muddle through these car repairs….and save us some money doing it.

That’s kind of empowering.

Man…..this knowledge does make me sore, though.

Kneeling in the gravel all morning makes my body hurt….no matter how empowered the final result of the experience makes me feel.

If you clear some land, sometimes you need to burn what you clear.

You could chip….and have a massive pile of wood chips….but how do you do that if you don’t have a chipper?

I’m not a freaking beaver….and I don’t have a chipper….so today I’m going to burn.

It poured down rain yesterday….so today is the day for a brush pile burn.

There’s something kind of primal about a big fire.

And….of course….there’s something kind of terrifying about a big fire in a field close to the woods, too.

That’s why you do it when everything is soaked.

If you can get the wet pile to go up in flames, chances are that the rest of the world won’t go up in flames with it.

Anyway….it’s a good way to get rid of a lot of stuff fast.

The mail count seemed to go OK.

I picked up a couple of hours….a couple of hours that I probably should have gotten last count….so I get to take every Saturday off now.

Doing that means less money….but right now “time” is a precious commodity, so I made the decision not to work every other Saturday.

I thought that the count wasn’t going all that well….the mail volume was kind of low some of the days that we counted….but when all was said and done….and we tallied the results….I’d still picked up two hours.

Too bad it couldn’t have happened last year.

That’s spilled milk, though.

I’m just glad that I got credit for what I do at some point.

Better late than never.

So…I imagine that I’m going to take Nate to school…..and then get the matches and the chainsaw and the rake and the shovel….and head over to see if I can get the big pile to light.

Fire…what a scary way to clean things up.

Isaac came home from school yesterday and told me that his phone didn’t work anymore.

It was something about the SIMM card not being recognized or something.

So…..I had to call India and speak to a Tracfone representative.

That’s hard.

The lady I talked to told me that the number had been ported over to another carrier.

W.

T.

F.

WTF.

We didn’t port it. We wouldn’t do that. Why would we do that?

She said that he didn’t have that number anymore.

wtf.

I spent about an hour talking to them about what might have happened.

What a waste of my life.

Then….I thought, “What the heck?! (which is what ‘wtf’ means….) What the heck?!! I’m going to call that number and find out what is going on.”

So, I called the number and got this older lady who told me all about how expensive her old plan was and how her son was with ATT with his phone…. but lost his job so she took over the payments on the contract but it was 400.00 a month and when she finally said, “I’M NOT GOING TO PAY THAT!!” it cost her 250.00 to get out of the contract and how much trouble they had switching her number over to the new no-contract plan and how it was going to be cheaper now and…..

and a whole bunch of other stuff.

I’ll bet it was hard switching over a number that wasn’t yours to begin with.

So I called Tracfone back and explained what probably happened…..again….and the operator checked with his supervisor and eventually told me that Isaac could keep his number….but they’d have to send out a new SIMM card since the original one had been cancelled….and that the process would take 3 to 5 business days.

MANNNNNNNNNNN.

What a pain in the rear…..just because an older lady couldn’t remember that her number started with “209” instead of “290”.

I guess that we were the victims of non-malicious identity theft.

And that’s the deal, really.

Sometimes the motivation doesn’t really matter….it’s the end result.

You can get screwed up just as deeply by someone else’s stupidity as much as you can by someone who’s working hard at hurting you.

Some little bimbo smoking a cigarette while she’s texting….cruising along in an un-inspected vehicle with expired tags….no license….baby flopping around on the front seat…..completely unaware of anyone except herself…..on a collision course with her destiny…..and my car.

And….she doesn’t give me a second thought.

If she hits me…..I know that it’s nothing personal.

It’s just me getting too close to her personal black hole of stupidity.

Isaac’s phone thing is more funny than really damaging….now that I don’t have to talk to India anymore.

(Those guys are so nice…patient. If they’re a little hard to understand….well, that’s my problem. They do a good job.)

And….good fortune to Shirley. I hope she gets her phone situation figured out.

I’m glad she’s not my problem anymore.

 

This doesn’t have much to do with losing a phone number and getting it back again…but here’s an acoustic version of “Wrecking Ball”. I KNEW that it was a good song…..

“wrecking ball (cover)” two worlds